A friend of mine said something to me this week that kind of offended me but kind of made sense. She said a lot of widows she knows are like new moms. They talk and talk about someone other people are not especially interested in.
I don't know if she was talking about me but it got me thinking about the subject. Widows quickly come to the realization that friends and to varying degrees family members don't want to hear us talk about the dearly departed. I always thought it made them uncomfortable but maybe it just bores them. I too have been bored by a new mom extolling the cute behavior of her baby. Am I doing the same thing to others when I talk about Lane?
I don't think widows talk about their late husbands to get attention, brag or gain sympathy. I talk about Lane for a lot of reasons. First, it lets me feel close to him again. It brings my memories to life. I talk about Lane because I don't want others to forget his kindness, humor and quirkiness.
I try very hard to keep my Lane references to a minimum. Although I have never seen anybody yawn, I have noticed blank stares or a quick change of subject. I have been told that "living in the past is unhealthy" but maybe living in the past is just boring.
Why do you talk about your late husband?
I am taking next week off. Have a safe and happy 4th of July.