I was putting on my shoes this morning and a wave came over me. All of a sudden I was incredibly sad. A feeling of despair came so quickly and was so overwhelming it was practically unbearable.
I've had these waves of grief before of course. I usually don't know what triggers it or how long it is going to last. I do know that now that I have been a widow for sometime the frequency of the wave is less often. But the intensity is not. When that wave of grief hits it feels raw and fresh just like it did the first few months after Lane died.
This may sound weird but I didn't mind that wave this morning. Don't get me wrong. I don't need a sudden wave of sadness to remind me how much I miss Lane. That's a given. But sometimes I need to feel some gut wrenching emotion to remind me that I still have the ability to feel something.
Lane died on March 18th. Is there a way to prepare for a tsunami?