I am not adverse to change. Change can be exciting. Change can also take you out of your comfort zone and shake you up.
I have made quite a few changes in the house since Lane died. Had a bathroom remodeled. Replaced a bannister. New furniture for the living room. Now I have decided to have our, I mean my bedroom updated. That means new furniture, floor refinished, paint and some work in the master bath. It's time. Everything looks dated and ready for change.
But am I ready for this change? I feel so comfortable in there. It is my refuge. Besides, Lane loved that room. It is decorated in "our style." It was our safe haven from the outside world. He even died in there. And now I am going to completely change it.
It seems like I am being disloyal or disrespectful. Am I just tired of the sage green walls or the scratches in the wood floor? Or is my motivation for this change a subtle (or maybe passive aggressive) acknowledgment that in order for me to move forward changes within my comfort zone need to happen.
Logically I know that a new coat of paint or getting rid of an old bedroom set will not change a thing. Lane won't be here to share the new room with. I will still be sleeping alone. But maybe, just maybe, it is the small changes that push us forward.
What small changes have you made that have compromised your comfort zone?