A couple of weeks ago an old high school boyfriend left a message on my home answering machine. The man asked if I were the Sue (maiden name) who grew up in Indiana. He said he just called to say hello, you know "a blast from the past."
I was going to call him back but never got around to it. He called last night. We talked for about an hour sharing what had happened to both of us over the years. He said he had my number for a year but felt weird about trying to reconnect after all of this time. I don't know why he called - he just did.
It was fun talking to someone who had no idea what my life was before or after Lane died. To him I wasn't a widow or a woman struggling to find her way. He remembered me as a young girl full of independence and determination. I remember he laughed at all of my jokes.
Sometimes I forget that I still am a woman with a good sense of humor and a good sense of self. I can make people laugh and have fun listening to others. I guess while I was reconnecting with an old friend I was reconnecting with myself. I needed to remind myself that I am more than just a widow. I am much more.
Reconnecting with someone I haven't seen or talked to in 40 years helped me reconnect with myself. Do you understand what I mean?