Around my house Sunday afternoon was all about football. Lane loved football. Sundays were reserved for lying on the sofa and watching our local NFL team win and more often lose. Lane would build a fire and I would make some popcorn. It was fun.
Football was something that Lane and I had in common, which was pretty unusual in our relationship. Lane was an artsy type who knew a lot about classical music and sculpture. I was and still am pretty unsophisticated in the arts. Football was a great equalizer for us.
So on Sunday I sat down to watch some football. But I couldn't focus on the game or get into the action. I missed my husband. The thrill of the game paled in comparison to the thrill I got from being with him, watching him have fun. I honestly thought that watching football would make me feel close to him. It actually made me feel lonely and blue.
Next Sunday I'm going shopping. Lane hated shopping. Lane avoided shopping. Yep, next Sunday I'm going shopping.
What do you do on Sunday afternoons?
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I keep busy around the house & have the tv on so I can just hear the football game. Listening to the game in the background makes me feel like my husband is at home watching it & I can just imagine him sitting on the couch enjoying it. Today I am having a hard day & I was just thinking to myself this morning how lost I feel without him! I am ok when I am busy at my job but on my days off I have to think of things to do to keep busy so I don't get too depressed. I wish he was here so life would feel normal again. I love him just as much now as when he was here & I think about him constantly.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all Sue, I look forward to your blog each week to have an outlet to talk about my husband. He was so proud that I actually knew the game and enjoyed watching it with him. No football complaints from me! It was one of our favorite one-on-one pastimes. Sunday, Monday Night Football and any in between was shared together. Even during the big Superbowl games, he would go out and watch it with the guys but leave at half-time, come home and finish watching it with me! The first season after he died was too painful to watch. This third season is better but I still only watch my favorite teams and will call my out-of-town son-in-law sometimes to discuss the game. NFL is not as satisfying without my husband and sharing the banter between us. I miss him so much as it brings back so many happy memories.
ReplyDeleteI had a breakdown watching his Vikings opening week. Tough to get past old habits and memories... I've been learning the boat and I've become a pretty good Captain! :) It's been a tough month for me, but I'm on way to being strong again. I have to be better at decision making. My husbands Headstone was put in over the weekend (still needs the picture), looks nice. That saying, "Nothing is written in stone.) Oh yes it is on a Headstone. Better days ahead... Stay strong new friends... Trish...
ReplyDeleteSunday was the only day of the week we were together as a family, so we got in the habit of eating a late breakfast, discussing the week, and then taking off for a fun afternoon. After the kids grew up and moved away, we continued the tradition.
ReplyDeleteSunday was the most difficult day of the week for me to handle after my husband died. It seems like everyone else is doing something with their families. I tried going to a few different churches, and as the families filed in, I felt even more alone and isolated. Now I often find myself taking a long ride with my dog and listening to the radio, or I watch a good movie on TV. Tom and I always enjoyed a good movie. After almost three years without him I am still unable to watch Star Trek or CSI...two of his favorite programs.