My husband has been dead for 5 years. I have managed to "get a life" and try not to complain or dwell on my loss to others. I go along day to day laughing at myself and trying to be happy for others.
What my friends and family don't realize is that I am running on empty. I don't feel intense sadness anymore but I don't feel joy either. I was never overly emotional or a drama queen but now I am so even keeled it's a little scary.
I guess losing my husband sucked the emotion right out of me. I don't feel highs or lows that are part of life. As a widow you don't have a sparring partner or a cheerleader. There isn't anyone to get you riled up or calmed down. So, I let those emotions slip away.
On the outside I seem fine but on the inside I am running on empty. While it keeps me from feeling really down I must admit it also robs me of feeling really good. But between us girls, it's not a good way to live your life.
Is anyone else out there running on empty?