I've never been a great sleeper. I'm not much of a dreamer either. Or at least I can't remember my dreams when I wake up. Once in awhile I have anxiety dreams. You know the dream when you show up at work and suddenly realize you're naked. In college I had a reoccurring dream that I was tumbling down a steep hill and couldn't stop my fall. Of course it was the late '60's and I did my share of partying.
After Lane died I never dreamed about him. I wanted to but it just never happened. I thought it would be comforting to "see him" and experience a moment with him again.
Then all of a sudden the dreams began. And for the past 2 years I keep dreaming the same plot with different scenarios. Lane isn't dead in these dreams he just doesn't want to be with me. In some dreams he lives by himself or in another city. He has his own life and it doesn't include me. I see him but we never speak or make eye contact. I don't matter in his world.
Sometimes I wake up startled and have to remember he is dead. Other times I am able to tell myself it's only a dream and he isn't avoiding me. He is just dead and gone. In either case the dream is pretty unsettling. I'm not a psychiatrist so I have no idea how to interpret this dream. And that's probably a good thing.
Are you having any weird dreams?