About four months after Lane died I joined a support group. I didn't know what to expect. As I entered the room that first night I saw ten women all looking like deer caught in headlights. All of us were nervous.
As we went around the table and introduced ourselves I wondered if this was what they do at AA meetings. Anyway, some women cried when they talked about their husbands. Others were mad at how they were being treated by family and friends. We found out that our counselor (who was in her late 60's) was book smart about grief but since she still had her husband (and parents) she really didn't relate to us all that well.
After a couple of meetings I began to really like these women. We started having dinner before the session and talked about all of the practical issues (finances, kids, giving away his stuff, etc.) we were facing. We began to rely on each other for support and comfort. And sometimes just for fun.
Well after the 10 weeks of counseling was over some us continued to get together every month or so for dinner. But life moves on and so did my support group. Now I only keep in touch with a couple of the women and our dinners together are much less frequent.
Usually I don't give advice on this blog. But if you are having a difficult time I say join a widows' support group. You will meet women who truly understand what you are going through. No it's not a cure for loneliness but it helps to talk to others with the same "disease."
Any experiences with a support group you want to share?