"He was my best friend," "We shared everything," "I knew him better than anyone." Most of us have uttered a couple of these cliches since our husbands died. And we believed every word of it.
Wait just a minute. Many women have told me that after becoming a widow they quickly found out that they didn't know the dearly departed as well as they thought. Some widows discovered that their late husbands were terrible money managers. Credit card debt, missing college fund money, overdue bills and a mortgage that widows could not afford were scary realizations.
Then there was the "Oh my God" moment when you were going through his things and found love letters from another woman. Or man. You never suspected he cheated. This reality can devastate the most secure woman who enjoyed a great marriage.
Widows have found secret stashes of cigarettes, alcohol, Viagra, ladies underwear, X rated photos and much more.
When I heard this stuff I went on a fact finding mission of my own. After an extensive search of his desk, computer and personal files I did find something surprising. Lane had kept a folder containing memos from bosses announcing his promotions, letters of praise from clients and clippings from the advertising trade press that mentioned his name. I was shocked. I sudden realized that the man I thought had no ego had one. And I was happy about it. I am glad he was proud of himself.
Okay, what I found is not earth shattering. Not even gossip worthy. But it was fun to discover something new about him. Frankly, compared to what other women have found out it was a relief.
What have you discovered about your late husband?