Isn’t it weird when you are asked your marital status and you have to indicate widow? I hate that word. It makes me think of grim looking old ladies in black dresses.
I don’t know why they need to know my marital status. Do widows have marital status? Does a widow have any status in our society today? I don’t think so. Often times our friends drop us, we make some wives feel uncomfortable and we seem to attract sleazy men who think we are desperate for male companionship.
Therefore I think the W word need to be changed. Updated, modernized, more reflective of the 21st century. I have to think about this for a while but my preliminary list follows:
Survivorista
Singleagainer
Losthim
Doe (say it kind of hip hop)
Soloist
Granted none of these are great but I checked the Thesaurus and dowager doesn’t thrill me either.
Suggestions welcomed. Thanks from the Widow Larrison.
Sue
PS. I will be back next Monday. Happy New Year to one and all!
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Sue - your blog looks great and I am sure it will have a positive effect on many, many people!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sue for starting this blog. It will be comforting to know there are other people out there with the same feelings we have. I look forward to watching this blog grow and become a voice for all widows. Great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Sue! And we know how difficult it truly is--so it's great to have another place to have a sounding board for our feelings! I remember the first time I had to put "widow" as my marital status--it really threw me for a loop!
ReplyDeleteI vote for Survivorista! I have always had many single and divorced friends. Even though I married late (was single until 33), over the 13 years of marriage I had forgotten how tough it was to be single. And I had forgotten how much coupled society looks down up those who are single--whether always single, divorced or widowed. I feel like I am treated like a less valuable person now that I am not in a marriage.
ReplyDeleteSue,
ReplyDeleteYou make me laugh! I think I'll go with Doe - since my name is Jane. SO I will be Jane Doe..sayin' it kinda hip hop :)
After 37 years of marriage, this was my first new years alone. Would have been married 38 years just a few days ago. These holidays have been hard. Sometimes I feel as if no one realizes the pain I am still in or how lonely I am when I come home to an empty house and I have no one to talk to. This is the first time I have put down my thoughts or looked at anyone elses thoughts. Even though if has been 10 months since his death, I relive it as if it was yesterday and am still having a hard time moving on.
ReplyDeleteMy sentiments exactly. When an acquaintance was starting up a widow's club, the first thing I wanted to suggest was to change the name to something else. I did join but it doesn't provide the comforting support like this website does. I hate the W word as well as not seeing "Mrs" in front of my name. In fact, I still check that box when asked for title/marital status on some forms where it doesn't or shouldn't matter. 'Survivorista' sounds good to me because that's what I am trying to do as graciously as I can. It sounds like a modern, upbeat description of us ladies who may be down but not out!
ReplyDeleteKatie-
ReplyDeleteJust a thought.. I don't think our "modern" society understands traditional rules of equitte, because for eons widows have always retained the use of "Mrs." as their proper title. The correct title is "Mrs. (deceased husband's first name) then the married last name. For example..."Mrs. John Doe", not "Mrs. Jane Doe" which through history depicts that a woman was divorced, not widowed.
Society today seems altogether unaware of these rules of etiquitte, and it always ticks me off to receive mail addressed to me using my first name and my married surname. If I WANT Ms. used, I would indicate that. I choose to be called by my husband's name with Mrs. before it. I loved him and spent near 3 decades of my life with him, and I wish to continue to honor that I was married to this man and we were not parted ny CHOICE.
Copies of Emily Post and all the other etiquitte books to every mannerless idiot out there, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the vent.
Funny you should mention this because I was just talking to my daughter about this a few days ago. Although I know that according to society's rules I am now a widow, I bristle at that title -- we're still married in my eyes, even though he may not be here. How many forms have I filled out since my husband passed where I checked 'married' versus 'widowed' without even realizing it?
ReplyDeleteWhen someone asks the question "Are you married?"......I am always tempted to say yes. I mean after all we weren't divorced. We loved each other. But I always have to say "Widowed"....what else can I say?
ReplyDeleteI am so glad I found this site. Other people just don't understand!
Well this widow title is something that really turns me off but I am a big believer in being truthful, at least with myself. At two months I removed my wedding ring and occasionally wore it on my right hand or chose not to wear it. I was actually kind of surprised at myself but it just felt odd and I could see people looking at my finger and thinking they were pitying me or something. I often wear odd cheap rings I have collected in the carribean over the years when I went away with my husband and wear those rings on my left hand. My diamond wedding band symbolized I was married and while I feel emotionally married (husband died 6 months ago), I have gradually realized he is not coming back and it is really hard to love a someone who is not alive. I had to check off the widow box at the doctors office recently, I was so angry I could not just say married. I cried when I handed the form back to the medical assistant and was quite upset for a while. It is going to take a long time to come to terms with something I did not ask for, and having to watch my husband die a tragic death from pancreatic cancer. My life as I knew it is gone and I am not sure who am I now, where I belong and fear the future. I was getting a little better right before the holidays, but then I sunk, and am anxious much of the time, worry about taking care of the house, being responsible for the finances and knowing now I must work to support myself and family (before, I worked because I liked to). Last night I got upset when I realized I may spend the rest of my life paying bills alone and worrying about being financially safe in my elder years ( I am in my late 50's). This was my husband's job and now he is gone. I have never felt so much pain and sadness. It is nice to read the blogs and feel connected to other people feeling the same things. But, I will tell you that I am a survivor, and will figure out a way to go on. My husband of 29 years taught me how to do this and I will honor his memory and feel his presence moving forward with my life. But, it is kinda like my 23-year old-son said, " How do you get over something that is never going to change?"
ReplyDeleteI guess when I think of widow, I think more of the poisonous potent venomous widow spider than I do of me. Why are we called widows???? What a weird thing to call someone who was married and now is alone/single again and NOT by choice?
ReplyDeleteA woman/man in "mourning"... is not very inviting either.
Everything is abbreviated today,
why not be called an L&L.
Those who have LOST(life-long)LOVES.
Well...no matter what word is used,
death is just ugly.
A part of me died that day too and being left alone with lost dreams is a horrible thing to have to face everyday. Other people really don't understand the incredible emptiness.
We were high school sweethearts and married for 37 years. He died four years ago Christmas time and he will always be missed and always be loved and someday I hope to see him again. I hope "Heaven Is For Real"--(interesting book).
Anne,(Mrs. Dave) L&L
I love this blog and that we have a place to VENT.
After a short while, most family and friends alike made it clear they would rather not hear me speak of my husband to them, I could see the uneasiness, and sometimes open repulsion when I did. I've learned to keep my thoughts of him to myself unless someone specifically asks, and even then I am very short with my answers. Once you are gone this world wants you to be forgotten also. It appeases them, so they don't have to face reality, someday it will be them.
ReplyDeleteBeing labled a widow is a label which makes me feel like half a person, but before I married and was young and free, no one saw me for anything but a young woman finding my way in life.
Life will never be the same without him; but it goes on whether I like it or not. I prefer to continue to honor the life we had together and remain a "Mrs.", or just my proper name. I agree Ms. should not be put in front of our name unless we want it.
I like going with "independant", it raises some eyebrows, and remarks like "isn't that a little prideful?. My answer is "Yup", with a smile.
Hi I hate the name of Widow. I agree it makes me feel like half a person. I am gradually getting a little better. I am trying to accept the fact that my husband is not coming back. I spent the night with my sister the other night and she snored. Somehow that was comforting to me. Am I crazy? Sometimes I think I hear his footsteps. I wish there were ghosts. I would welcome him coming back and talking to me. That is the worst thing. I can't talk to him. I didn't get to say I love you or kiss him before he died. Some things were just left undone. This site has helped me a lot. You all have the same feelings and concerns that I have. I thought I was alone; but there are a lot of us out there. Only we know how we feel.
ReplyDeleteI don't like the word widow either, but I feel it pretty much tells the story. You were married and in love(a couple) till the end then life's natural process left you alone. Grief isn't pretty and I think spicing up the title makes it worse. It is what it is! When a soldier returns from war changing his title to sound better disrespects the reality of his bravery. The word widow says I was in love and he is gone, so respect that when you address me please. It may threaten people as an example that life happens and can to them, but also shows them that I am standing before them as a strong individual who has face death head on and am still standing my ground. Maybe people need to see and face the reality that is life. Like my wrinkles caused by smiles and sadness. I'm not going to give up any part of my story. Maybe I have to check widow and feel I need to drop the Mrs. but I still have his last name to comfort me. The word widow sounds bad, but that is what the experience is and that tells it..Wishing you all find the hope and strength you need in this new year.
ReplyDeleteDonna-
ReplyDeleteAs I previously responded to Katie's comments, we don't HAVE to drop the MRS. We are not DIVORCED, we were widowed and the proper title is to retain HIS name (first and surname) on letters and documents etc. with MRS. before it. That is how it was done for centuries...that is who WE ARE. Not singles, not divorcees...WIDOWS. I will be using Mrs. with his name and surname always, unless I were to re-marry which I can not even imagine ever happening. And I wish to be addressed as Mrs. (with our surname). HE was THE ONE and I will always be in love with him, through all of time.
Thanks Annonymous and all others who responded to my "Mrs" comment. Thanks for all the different perspectives. However, after 38 years (married at age 23) it is hard to "feel" single. I like the Mrs title because it shows the respect and honor I have for a successful marriage. Like you, I will always be in love with my husband....forever and a day.
ReplyDeleteYes, the "W" word. Great topic, Sue.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me cringe whenever I see it written or more to the point, when I realize that I am now "one of them." Although alone now for five months, I still consider myself married and always will. I will continue to wear my wedding ring (hard to remove after 50 yeaars). Anyway, my alternative to the "W" word is "parted," as in "Until death do us part." When asked, I will say "I am parted." Unfortunately, this word has other meanings and might not stand up in the legal sense, but I'm going to stick with it, for now at least.
Thank you all for this comforting format. Your words are reasuring and sustaining. It's lonely out there.
Anonymous- Thanks for your response. Just for the record I understand where your coming from and I do understand your point regarding respecting etiquette carried down through time. My choice however is to avoid the question or the assumption that I am to produce a husband or explain where he might be. "Would you and your husband like to attend?" or "What does your husband do for a living?" I have decided to present myself to society as I am now so no more questions are asked. It is a choice that helps ME to face a reality that is necessary to my going forward. In my heart I will forever be a Mrs to my wonderful husband. I will of course still use his last name. As I move on in this process I find that outside things are unnecessary to hold him close. I have him deeply engraved in my mind and heart for me alone to privately embrace. That may not work for everyone but for me, for now it fits.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad for this site, no one but us can understand the pain of losing a spouse, all of a sudden that person is no longer by your side, it is awful and it may get better to accept, but I can't forget, sometime realize he is gone, after 51 years with some one it is really hard to be without him. I love this site to see where there are people that can understand and no one can unless you one of us.
ReplyDeleteI can't stand the word "Widow." Several times over the past 10 months I have been referred as Kent's Widow. Eeeek! I never thought about the "Widow" word before I became one. But, I guess it's all part of this cruel journey I'm walking, and it is, what it is... I wish there was a better name for us. It's like we lost our identity and have been cast aside in a dark lonely world with the handle "Widow." This "Widow" is going strong with a positive attitude for 2012 and keeping here smile and sense of humor going. Feb. 18th will be my 1 year mark of my beautiful husband's death. It's going to be a tough week, but I'm looking forward to getting thru the 1st year. I was at a New Years party last weekend, the room was full of friends and family and someone says, "Where's you husband? Did he leave you? Did he walk out on you?" You could have heard a "pin" drop in the place. ha. I calmly said, "I wish he did walk out, he wouldn't be where he's at, 6 ft under." Everyone looked so sad at this awkward moment. Better days ahead... Widow Trish...
ReplyDeleteHI,
ReplyDeleteI have no problem with the Widow name, I lost my sweet husband to Cancer in April 2011 and am having a hard time adjusting, I miss him so much. he was the best.
I don't care anything for names or what I use, i never changed my last name to his because I was married late in life, we were together 25 years, married for 19 and so 'what's in a name' is my favorite quote. My best time is when I am with someone that lets me talk about him on and on and tell stories of the old times. I feel less sad, you are right some people just want you to move on. But there is no moving on. I was actually ok for the first few months. now I am into the stage that I just wish he would come home already.
Trish-
ReplyDeleteWow. Why the @##$%&%^& would anybody with any class or kindness ask if he "walked out" on you (or even if he "left you"). I would have been seeing red...pretty nervy and rude in my opinion (not to metion CRUEL if it had actually been the case). Good retort, but still....what business did they have wording it the way they did?????
Missing my beloved so very much. He was truly a KIND person and this kind of rubbish from people fries me. I am really struggling with all the social implications of widowhood and the great sense of isolation I am moving through at just under one year since the loss. Was never one to trust prople easily anyhow and this new life is making it even tougher for me. I can only hope with the passage of time things get easier and I can forge new "social connections".
I really wish there was a way for some of us to get together face to face and talk. It would be such a help to talk to someone who truly understands what I am going through.
ReplyDeleteIt's been 10 months now and my friends change the subject every time I mention his name now - no one wants to listen....no one understands.
Dear Trish,
ReplyDeleteI will be thinking about you on the 18th as my husband died on February 3rd, 2010. And I have been coming to this site ever since and have followed your and everyone elses comments. Your husband also sounds a lot like mine in that he was charming and popular and a genuinely nice man. I think we were lucky and I think you should ignore all negative comments and focus on the friends who provide comfort. You are going to be embarking on your second year of a life you never planned on and you need to take care of yourself and make your way in whatever way feels best to YOU. Be patient and find the places that bring you comfort and linger there until you feel better. I think it is great that you went to a new years party!! You are a brave one I must say. And am glad to know that other widows out there know exactly what we are feeling. And thank-you Sue for helping us make this unexpected journey and being the only place I can go since becoming a widow where I can feel fully understood and maybe free to rant a little! SM
So true Susan, people do not understand; and can be very cold. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteNo matter what we prefer to call ourselves, it does not change the reality that life will never be the same, and many times it will be a lonely road to travel. Sometimes it's all I can do to push myself out of bed in the morning, then brace myself to face the world, and the cruelties of it. I force myself to look up at the sky, the sun, the trees, a small bird on the wing; anything to make myself realize life goes on, and there is still beauty to behold. But, it's not easy.
My heart goes out to each one here.
I agree with you Susan I would love to meet and hang out with you ladies. I know that when I am talking up a strom about Robbie you understand. I too find myself trying not to talk about him to much because I see how it upsets people, but very gald I have a few friends that will let me go on and on. I know that reading this blog you ladies get it you have to same feelings I do and I don't feel all alone or crazy for feeling the way I do. I am close to the one year mark also Feb. 6th makes one year without my better half with me. It has been hard and finding out last month that someone has been stealing from my back yard now I am scared here at home. I would love to sell but like others on here this is not the time to do that. Thank you everyone for your comments on here and for Sue who started it all.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for sharing your hearts, your pain, and your coping skills on this painful journey. I am only 7 weeks into this walk and am still numb with disbelief and shock that I am a widow. No matter what "it's" name, the emotional wound resulting from the loss of him is staggering. I sometimes feel like "Humpty Dumpty.". All broken in pieces. I pray that in time and that with God's help that He will help me put the pieces back together in a new way of living or new pattern. I never dreamed it could be this hard. Thanks again for your words of encouragement for the future.
ReplyDeleteI don't like the "w" word either but I feel in order for me to embrace the grief process, I should accept where I am and grieve each new step as I move forward. I woke up this morning realizing that I needed to find a "loss husband" support group or soemthing where I could express exactly how I am feeling. My friends are trying to be supportive but I want to talk to someone that is experiencing the same thing I am experiencing. It has been 10 months since I lost my husband of 38 years to cancer. He was my high school sweetheart and a very loving man that took care of a lot of things including me and now I am having to take care of everything and it is very overwhelming at times. Yesterday and today marks the dates in which his health starting changing and I am very sad and my heart hurts. I miss him so much!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm at the 5 month mark today. I still hate Sundays, the day he died, even though I've tried everything to make them better. I took his wedding band and sized it and added it to my rings. I can't imagine not wearing them. I will always be married to him in my heart. I wish this would get easier. I'm getting impatient with every single day being this huge mountain in front of me. Slept about 2 hours last night.
ReplyDeleteyoyomom-
ReplyDeleteThe "Humpty Dumpty" analogy caught my attention. It is EXACTLY what I have conveyed to my counselors - that "all the king's horses and all the king's men, can't put this girl together again" and I mean it when I tell them that. They continually try to convince me that someday I won't feel so much that way, but I can not imagine ever feeling "whole" again, not broken in so many ways - spiritually, emotionally and physically. Most friends don't understand either. My counselors have had losses, but NONE have lost a spouse to death.
The one year anniversary of my dh's death looms on February 1st. Feels like yesterday. He died just short of 4 months after an unexpected diagnosis of a very aggressive adenocarcinoma of the GI tract. I suffered multiple, traumatic life as my mom took ill 2 days before my dh and died at Christmas just 5 weeks before him. Last of my immediate family. Unprepared in every way.
For me I am still very "married" and always will be. When I committed to him it went beyond "till death us do part". It means FOREVER in my heart. I just finished reading the book "Two Part Invention" by Madeline L'Engle and was very moved by her story. She states that "marriage is a contract which ends in a manner, but the love does not end when parted by death. The love is for all time." Her reflections give me great comfort and mirror what I am feeling and what the nature of the relationship I had with my husband of 26 years (28 years total together) truly represented. A lovely memoir.
To me, widow (or widower) is a term created to impose a title by which we can be socially "catagoized". That we are living in the terrible and dreaded place that no one wants to be. Almost like being dropped into the "untouchables" of the caste system of Hinduism. But we are MUCH more than that label. We are at the heart of the TRUTH of living, the true meaning and cost, and we have earned the purple heart of life. We have risked all for love, become fully vulnerable, and accepted that to experience ultimate joy we may also expereince ultimate loss (in outliving our partners). We elected to be fully "in" and to play our hand to completion. We have experienced the TOTAL circle of the meaning of life - LOVE, purely and simply.
And in Madeline's book, she states that despite the devastation of her husband's death, she would do it all again for the gift of the years shared (and how she grew into the fullness of the person she became because of it. And so would I.
Just call me Sue, who also proudly was Jerry's wife.
Grief - no way around it, only through it. Forging us into new and different women, not be choice, tempered to new levels of courage, strength and understanding.
It is good to be here to share and honor each other.
Many thanks to Sue and her challening thoughts for us at this site, providing us with a place for much comfort and growth. Wishing everyone the best of both over the new year.
After almost three years since my husband passed, I can see my way of thinking is starting to shift in a new direction. I hear now a challenge in me to survive! I know now that only I can make anything of this life I'm left with. My husband is not coming back to rescue me and make things right, know matter how much he would want to. I feel this push in me to stand up and move! I was having my tea early this morning and I had a picture in my minds eye I'd like to share with you. It was like life is this beautiful magnificent ship on the wide open waters. The captain of this ship has always been my husband we lovingly sailed it together. He was my captain and life was SAFE,easy,when he was at the wheel. Our future was filled with wonder as to what was ahead, full of dreams of where to go, what we looked forward to on this voyage of life. Now I see it as the captain has gone, the ships wheel stands alone waiting,shifting slowly with the movement of the waters below. No matter how beautiful a ship it may be it cannot sail on without a strong captain with dreams and a plan for the course ahead. I see myself sitting, watching that wheel move back and forth waiting for someone new to take control. I must see that ship as MY vessel now that carries me to MY future. I find myself asking should I stay seated mourning the loss of its captain, where I will eventually run out of provisions to survive? That ship cannot move forward without me. If I choose not to take control it will eventually sink with the next storm, with me on it. What a waste of a beautiful ship and it's precious cargo( dare I say me). Do I stand and take that wheel myself, learn how to move that huge wonderful vessel in a direction I choose? Learn how to be my own captain and feel that ship of life react to MY wishes and dreams? That's where I am,trying to find the courage somewhere left deep in me to stand up alone and try to explore the unfamiliar. I feel the call of that wheel of life. A challenge to me to try.. just try! The mind is amazing at what it shows us for our own survival. If only we pay attention to it in the few clearings between the fog of grief.
ReplyDeleteMy husband, Alan, died suddenly of a massive heart attack 14 months ago today. I looked up "widow" online and definition #6 said: Verb -- to deprive of something valued or desirable. In that sense, we HAVE truly all been widowed.
ReplyDeleteI actually use "Widow" to describe myself to some people -- as it is one word that says a lot. It doesn't bother me to use the title, though I certainly wish I wasn't one. I also still think of myself as married, particularly since our religious belief is that we were married for "time and all eternity". While I am free to marry someone else for this life if I desire, I am happy to know that Alan and I can be together forever for eternity. I do not believe that these strong bonds of love between husband and wife, parent and child, etc. end with death. I believe we have a choice in the matter, but marriage is eternal if we so choose -- and that brings me a lot of comfort.
Some random thoughts: someone in their comment above mentioned that they cannot talk to their husband anymore. I talk to my husband often -- outloud -- often when driving in the car. I tell him things I know he would want to know -- even though I think it is possible that he already knows things the instant that they happen. But I tell him anyway. And sometimes when I cannot find something I'm looking for, I ask him outloud where the item is -- and I find it, almost as if he helped me find it. I find it comforting and natural to talk with him.
I have discovered that the world's very best kept secret is widowhood. There is no way to learn about it before you experience it, because no one talks about it -- for all the same reasons we don't talk about it either. So sometimes I tell people little tidbits because I know it will help them one day. The people I talk to the most about it -- what it's like -- are my children. Occasionally I will have a friend who seems genuinely interested in knowing how I'm really doing -- and I will share some things with her. I hope what I share will help her when she crosses the widow-bridge.
One women commented that after a few years she is now beginning to find more focus in her life and I found that encouraging. I'm rather productive most days, but I don't have an overall vision of my life's purpose anymore. Nothing has the same meaning anymore -- even watching the news on TV -- since there is no one to share it or discuss it with. No one to share snacks or hugs with during commercials. The fun seems to be gone out of most everything -- and I think I have to find a better way. Maybe sometime we can talk about rediscovering our purpose -- or figuring out how to put real joy back into living.
January 9th was our 39th wedding anniversary and I was surprised to find myself struggling through the day emotionally. I get through most days, and particularly special days, fairly well -- but there were lots of tears, remembering our wedding day and honeymoon and those early years of marriage. The memories just kept coming. I was super sad all morning and began to rally mid-afternoon. So I put a positive post on Facebook about our anniversary and ended it with these words: "The love story continues even now."
Thanks to everyone for all you have shared. I can really connect with your thoughts and feelings here and it is really helpful. Thank you, Sue, for bringing us together.
Hugs to all!
Jackie
It will be two years Feb 17 since I lost my husband to a massive heart attack. It has been a roller coaster two years. We were married 40 years. My daughters have been very supportive. I too do not like the word widow. I remember the first time I had to mark that box. Gave me chills. It still does not seem possible that he is gone. Staying busy and staying in touch with friends and family does help. I have been very restless this winter. The last two times I have returned home from visits with my daughters I have dreaded going into my home. I am possibly considering moving but do not want to make a mistake in doing this. I do not want to make a hasty decision but am starting to look at homes online for sale in my area. This is the first time I have seen your site and appreciated reading others experiences and feelings. So many the same.
ReplyDeleteHI. I am a widow since 2003 and recently met a guy who is 12 years older than me. My husband and I had been married for 35 years and had 4 children. This guy has filled my void in many ways but will never take the place of my husband. I am afraid that I will loose him also. My husband died of a massive heart attack after 10 years of heart disease. I feel guilty sometimes when I am with my new friend as if I am betraying my late husband. Once in awhile, I think that this is what my husband wants, though, if it makes me happy. I believe he is watching over me along side of God. I have tried to keep our family together but my adult children don't seem to understand and it seems like sometimes we aren't united. One of my sons, prompted by his wife, does not talk to me and won't let me see my grandchildren. I don't know if I can ever forgive them for the way they are treating me.I can remember when people cared for the widow or widower as it should be. I want them to be proud of me for surviving and not counting on them to support me or expecting their help for anything. I never get a positive remark from them about doing a good job recovering from the hardest thing God has asked me to do in my life. I remember how I encouraged my children all their life and I need that from them now. Yes, I hate the situation and I feel it made me find someone to be my family now, because I have lost not only my husband but my family we once had. Yes, it will never be the same again and sometimes I hate it.
ReplyDeleteShame on your children...you shouldn't feel so sad because you have someone else in your life that can make you feel so wonderful...I wish I could tell you how to talk to your kids but it sounds like they are a bit selfish; not seeing your grandchildren is horrible...I will pray your life gets easier...you deserve the best, hang in there dear!
ReplyDelete