Friday, August 14, 2015

Golden Years

I am now semi-retired. I cutback back on my workload and now work out of my home. I seem to spend more time dealing with health issues than I do working or socializing.  Trust me this is not exactly the retirement picture I had in mind.

Lane and I planned to work until we just didn't feel like it anymore.  We assumed we slow down, working only because we wanted to and not had to.  We dreamed about living in California for a year exploring the state and enjoying the weather.  Then we would head to the south of France and rent a place in a small village, living like a local.  The sights of South America were on our radar as well.  Never been to the many exotic sights that continent has to offer.

We planned for our Golden Years to be exciting.  Spending time together laughing, exploring and relaxing. And then Lane died and all of our plans vanished into thin air.

Now it's just me.  Living life day to day.  No trips planned.  No longer making memories or have anyone to share them with.  Now I know what they mean when they say the Golden Years aren't so golden.

I've accepted Lane's death.  After all, it's been 9 years.  But it is hard to accept that life without him leaves my Golden Years so tarnished.

How has your husband's death impacted your Golden Years?